Fostering the Immortals
by DrVamp
Summary: Luke was expecting a quiet night at home, while Jocelyn and the rest of the gang were away. Now he's the proud foster-father of four shrunk immortals, none of whom want to be there. At least Jocelyn doesn't know... yet.
1. Chapter 1

Luke was watching the monster trucks on TV when he heard a knock at the door. Jocelyn was in Idris for a month, with Clary and the others, and Luke was home alone, which was nice for a change. Outside, however, Luke's door was hiding something unusual. Lilith was standing beside the Seelie Queen who was fidgeting, her new pink backpack was too heavy for her, stuffed with all the four's toys. Camille was holding Magnus' hand to make sure he didn't wander off and Raphael was teething and grizzling in Lilith's arms.

Lilith knocked again, harder, patting the Seelie Queen's head when the girl looked at her. She was about eleven, and the oldest of the group, which Lilith had told her meant she had to look after the other three. Camille was nine, and was the group's troublemaker, as she really didn't like Raphael and kept pinching the toddler's arms and legs when she thought Lilith wasn't looking. Magnus was five and wanted a pink backpack too- he'd sulked all the way from the mall. Raphael was... well, Lilith wasn't actually sure, but about 18 months to two. He was old enough to talk, anyway, though most of what he said was just asking to be picked up or put down.

Luke opened the door, face unhappy. "What?" He stopped, and looked shocked when he saw the four immortals standing beside Lilith.

"What... what have you done to them?"

"Made them your responsibility! This will throw Downworld into chaos... but I couldn't kill them, that would be boring... this is much more fun!"

Luke gaped as he was handed over the four children, plus all their stuff. Magnus and Camille had a suitcase each, Raphael had a big canvas bag full of baby stuff and some onesies and the Seelie Queen had her backpack and a suitcase. Raphael was handed to Camille who glared at the baby and put him down among the bags.

"Lilith! How long will it last?" he called desperately, putting down the kids' bags and stepping onto the porch.

"Depends," Lilith replied, "I'm not sure. Maybe two years, maybe less."

"Two years?!"

"Or less, that's an extreme. Though, it could be as long as ten if you're not careful."

"Careful about what?"

"I can't tell you, it differs from curse to curse."

"Which curse did you use?"

"I got a rather angry warlock to cast one; I don't know which curse. All I know is that they're now completely human children."

Luke stared at her despondently as she shimmered then disappeared. The Seelie Queen came out and took Luke's hand.

"Raphael's hungry."

"What does he eat?"

"Baby food, he's got jars in his bag."

"Thank you, Milady."

"You're welcome. What are we having for dinner? Only Camille's allergic to gluten."

"Is she?"

"Yes."

"Well; can she eat sausages and potatoes?"

"Yes."

"That's what we're having, then. Go put your stuff in the spare rooms, please. Girls' in Clary's... that has a pullout bed. Boys in the one with one bed; does Raphael have a cot?"

"He has a portable one, but it's bad for babies to sleep in it too much."

"We'll go shopping tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay."

The Seelie Queen went back inside, and Luke heard her repeat what Luke had told her. Luke went back in, scooped up Raphael and asked Magnus to get a jar of baby food. Magnus darted off, eager to be of use. He came back holding a jar of something green, which the instructions said was to be heated for a minute. Luke put it in the microwave and looked for a place to eat the little boy while he ate.

He decided on the floor, and put Raphael's... spinach, maybe?... in a bowl near the fridge. He turned to get Raphael a spoon, and when he looked back, Raphael was spooning the mush into his mouth with his fingers.

"He's sorted, is he?"

"For now," the Seelie Queen replied. She seemed vaguely annoyed that Luke was fairly average at childcare. Luke smiled, asked her to keep an eye on the boy, which she agreed to do, going to sit beside him. Magnus was at the table, with some paper and crayons the Seelie Queen had taken out of her backpack, and Camille was in Clary's room, which was now the girls'. Luke thought he should go check on her, but a glance at his watch told him it was 5.30 and Magnus was eyeing the fridge.

Luke put peeled potatoes in a pot to boil, put some sausages in a pan, and went into Clary's room. Camille was lying on the pullout bed, playing with dolls.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Go away!"

Luke withdrew hurriedly, and went back to the kitchen. Magnus was now obviously hungry- Raphael was sated and was playing with his bowl. He had it on his head as a hat and was giggling. Luke swore and tore it off the baby's head. Raphael, with spinach in his hair, and a pout on his face, grabbed Luke's ankle.

"Give back."

"No, Raphael, it's bad to play with the bowls."

"Not!"

"It is," Luke said, and put the bowl on the bench. Raphael howled angrily and bit Luke's ankle. He only had about fifteen teeth, so it didn't hurt too much, but Magnus grabbed Raphael and yelled at him anyway. Luke separated the two of them, served up the meal, which Magnus gobbled, the Seelie Queen ate and Camille picked at. Raphael, who was sitting in the sink, turned on the water, and cried. Luke bathed the baby, dressed him in a clean nappy-and that was _gross_- put him in a onesie, set up the portable cot which was tucked underneath the baby food and nappies in the canvas bag, put him to bed, dressed Magnus in a shirt and a pair of undies to sleep in, tucked him up, and turned out their light. When he checked them again ten minutes later, both boys were sleeping, tuckered out by their long day.

Camille was harder to get to bed, but he managed by promising her he'd buy her a new doll when they went shopping. The Seelie Queen just got herself ready, scrubbing her teeth-which reminded Luke he'd forgotten to do the younger kids'- and going to sleep when the clock struck eight thirty.

Luke collapsed on the couch, pleased with himself for surviving, when a horrible thought struck him.

_Oh god, I've got to tell Jocelyn and the others._


	2. Chapter 2

Luke managed to avoid calling Jocelyn that night, but the next morning he was woken up by Magnus pulling at his arm.

"Raffy's crying," he said, small face serious. His hair still had vivid streaks of dye running through it. His t-shirt and boxer combination was crumpled from sleep, and he looked still tired. Luke glanced at his clock and saw it was 5.49 am. He hauled himself to his feet, and walked to the boys bedroom. Raphael was standing, clinging to the bar running through the fabric. His little face was puckered up, and he wailed until Luke picked him up. Luke saw he had wet himself, and he whimpered as Luke put him on the floor. Luke got out a fresh nappy, wiped Raphael's ass, and velcroed it on. Raphael wouldn't go back into the cot, he clung to Luke's shirt, and so Luke carried him into his room, and let the baby sleep beside him. Magnus followed and lay down on the other side.

"Ook? Ook?"

Luke opened his eyes and saw Raphael leaning over him. The little boy's fingers were splayed on his face, and he was smiling happily.

"Ook... Ungee."

"Are you hungry?"

"Eess."

Luke turned to the clock, saw it read 7.12 and let himself be hugged and cajoled out of bed and into the kitchen with a jar of Raphael's chosen mush. He heated it and put it in the bowl and went to check on the girls and Magnus. Magnus was still asleep in Luke's bed and Camille and the Seelie Queen were beginning to wake up. He smiled at them both. The Seelie Queen smiled back, but Camille didn't, she scowled and pressed her head into the pink pillow. Luke went back to the kitchen, rescued Raphael's bowl from the little one's questing fingers, and pulled out some cereal and bowls and the spoons, for the other kids' breakfasts.

Raphael was changed into a pair of shorts and a black shirt, the Seelie Queen who Luke decided to call 'Seelie', got into her only skirt and her pink t-shirt, Camille got into a green dress, and Magnus wanted to wear his "sleepy shirt" and "sleepy pants", but was put into a jersey and shorts. With all the kids dressed, fed and ready, Luke brought around his truck. He didn't have car seats so he drove to the mall slowly. Once there, he brought the kids to Kmart and strapped Raphael and Magnus into the trolley seats. Camille wanted to go in but Seelie held her hand and dragged her ahead of it. He bought two car seats, a pram, and some shoes for all four, plus all the clothes they could get.

Then Magnus saw the toy shop and screamed and wiggled until they went in, which meant Luke shelled out four hundred dollars on dolls, cars and big lego bricks and puzzles with huge pieces and some soft toys. Raphael wouldn't let go of his new bear, which was chewed on by the time they hit the car again. They got Raphael a cot and a high chair. Camille wanted a "proper bed", and so Luke got her another mattress. They visited the supermarket. They loaded it all into the truck, and that was the shopping done.

The kids fell out of the truck and toys spilled on the living room floor. Camille's dollhouse was soon populated, Seelie and Raphael put lego bricks together in random shapes and Magnus put together the puzzles. Luke went into the kitchen, and put together three plates of chips and cut up sausages, and called the kids in. He set up Raphael's highchair, and tried to give the youngest his mush, but Raphael cried for 'big lunch' until Luke sighed and gave him a plate of it. Raphael ate it, and then needed a nappy change and a nap.

Magnus and Seelie agreed to play quietly but Camille refused until Seelie squeezed her arm really hard. Then she ran into her room and cried.

"Seelie!"

"Sorry, Luke, but she would've woken up baby."

He sighed, went and made a cup of hot chocolate, which he gave to Camille, who gave him a slight smile. Magnus went in to check on Raphael a lot. Seelie played with Camille's toys, sneakily. Luke turned on one of the kid's movies he'd bought. Raphael woke up halfway through and cried until it was turned back to the beginning.

Jocelyn called while Seelie and Magnus and Raphael were in the bath together.

"How's things, Luke?"

"They're fine, Jocelyn."

"Only Lilith came over last night, said she dropped off a package at the house... Maryse stabbed her but she disappeared too fast..."

"She did leave a package, but it's no problem, I've sorted it."

"Okay... I love you."

"I love you to- hey! Stop that!"

"What's the matter Luke?"

"One of the pack's spilling beer, it's nothing, Jocelyn."

What was actually happening was that Magnus was running around naked chasing his little-brother for want of a better word- and Raphael was giggling so much Luke was worried he'd throw up.

"Oh, okay, Luke. It's just I hear children?"

"Some cubs, Joce, some cubs." Luke hated lying to her, but he knew she'd want him to give the kids to the Clave, and he wouldn't let Maryse, with her views on Downworlders, have these little ones.

"Okay, Luke!" Jocelyn sounded exasperated. "I've got to go, it's another meeting."

"Bye, honey."

Jocelyn hung up and Luke scooped Magnus up as Raphael collapsed on the floor. Seelie picked up the baby, who was covered in loose carpet fibres now, and put them both back in the bathtub. Camille yelled in outrage when she saw her new doll's dresses soaked with water, and marched into the bathroom to pinch the younger ones. He left Seelie in charge as he squashed some more potatoes, cut up some boiled carrots and made gluten-free toast. He got out four plates, and let Raphael eat with the others, which delighted the boy so much he almost couldn't eat anything.

Another movie was found and turned on, and Camille and Magnus fell asleep on the sofa. Seelie and Raphael actually managed to stay awake the whole movie, though only because one of them was old enough too, and the other was too stubborn to fall asleep.

Raphael's new pyjamas were found, green ones with dinosaurs, and Magnus was put in his blue ducky ones. Luke had had a hard time convincing Magnus that he liked them; Magnus was sure he liked Camille's ones better. Camille woke up and instead on putting on her own pyjamas, which was fine with Luke. Seelie pulled down the sheets so that he could slid Magnus into bed, but he made sure everyone else's teeth were brushed. With all four soon in bed, the clock reading 8.15 pm, Luke stumbled into his own bed, because he had a feeling he wouldn't be allowed to sleep late.


	3. Chapter 3

faceThe next morning, Luke got up when his alarm went off, which was at 8.30. He frowned, because he assumed one of the kids would've got him up a bit earlier.

He went to the girls' room first; Seelie had Raphael on her lap, and Camille was playing peek-a-boo with him. Magnus was tangled up in his new Cars sheets. Camille followed Luke out, and helped him set up breakfast; Raphael was having mush, because Luke thought cereal might be too sharp for him.

Magnus had to be gently shaken awake, and then he needed to be carried to the kitchen, so Luke was holding him when they came into the kitchen again. Camille was wiping down the bench and her littlest foster-sibling. Seelie had got out clothes for the other three; Camille had her jeans, a purple top, red parka and a pair of sneakers. Magnus had a green shirt, blue parka, canvas slip-ons and corduroy pants. Seelie wanted to put Raphael into Camille's real-size toddler doll's dress, but Luke refused, instead putting him in a fleece jumper, a flannel shirt and some trackpants with slip-on booties. It was pretty cold out, and Luke had to go to the Hunter's Moon.

"Seelie, can you hold Camille and Magnus' hands?"

"Yes, Luke."

When they arrived at the Hunter's Moon, Luke made sure the little ones were all close to him. Raphael and Camille both got more and more nervous the closer they got to the building; Luke supposed that they had some vague memories of the place. Luke held Camille's hand tighter, pushing Raphael's pram quickly towards the back door. He didn't need all the werewolves going for the two little not-vampires; they were very vulnerable.

"Stop!"

"Luke, what is it?" Magnus asked quietly. He was looking at Camille's face, and he was worried.

"You're going to Caterina's."

"Not dere?" Raphael asked, pointing at the door of the Hunter's Moon.

Luke was about to respond when Pete, Maia and the rest spilled out the door.

"Luke!... Who're they?"

Luke swallowed. "Raphael Santiago, Camille Belcourt, The Seelie Queen and Magnus Bane."

Pete stared at him, smiled briefly, saw he was serious and swallowed again.

"Luke, this is really bad."

"I know that, Pete."

"No! The vampires are on the warpath looking for Raphael; they've already threatened us once... they want us to tell them the second we see him."

"We'll call them now then."

Luke wasn't at sure that was a great idea, but the Dumort's phone was ringing already, which meant he was committed.

"Raphael?" A girl's voice, tinged with slight desperation. "Is that you, Raphael?"

"No, it's Luke Garroway."

"What do you want wolf?"

"I have Raphael here, and Camille."

"Is he... Are they okay?"

"Yes, of course," Luke said indignantly. "Well, actually, they're healthy and happy but not strictly... okay."

"What?"

"Raphael is about twenty months, and he's currently sitting in a pram staring at Camille playing with some dolls she bought."

"What?" Lily screamed. "I'll be right there!"

"It's ten o'clock in the morning, Lily, but I'll keep them here."

"Thank you, Luke," Lily said, which surprised Luke. He put down the phone, and went to check on his kids until the vampires arrived.


End file.
